Dear Readers, Customers, and Friends,
Many of you know The Urban Homemaker was founded by my husband and I in 1991 to “teach and promote old-fashioned skills for contemporary people”. We started as a mail order catalog company and began our web store in 1999.
Suddenly in April 2008, Duane passed away from a massive heart attack very quickly, without warning, leaving me with 3 children and a business to run.
After his passing I was able to keep the business running with the assistance of three part time employees and my children. We were so very busy I probably didn’t take the time needed to grieve.
Recently I realized that it is impossible for me to keep up with newsworthy, interesting regular newsletters/blog updates/facebook posts that you are accustomed to reading as well as handling all the administrative work a business of this nature requires.
Surprisingly, in the last few weeks I have found myself in a deepening depression filled with unexplainable fear and anxiety even though my Heavenly Husband has been so good to me in the months since Duane’s death, Laura’s wedding, and my father-in-law’s death.
My purpose in writing to you today is to say I am asking you readers to hang with me, and pray for me while I give myself the needed time to continue grieving my losses and to focus on God’s vision and His purpose for me and the future of The Urban Homemaker (without Duane).
My prayer is that you will pray for me to hear the voice of God, work through additional grief, renounce any anxiety, resolve depression issues, and to have the mind of Christ to make The Urban Homemaker a vibrant, relevant voice regarding practical help for busy moms, bread baking information and real food nutrition and information.
I’m not going away, I will still post timely information as I’m able. I also ask and pray that you will still be there for me when I return in earnest, good changes are coming, but taking longer to implement than I ever dreamed. My deepest heart’s desire is to be a relevant and resourceful voice for homemakers whose hearts are at home.
I would also appreciate prayer for my daughter to have a healthy baby delivered in the next few weeks as she and her husband prepare to move to Oregon so Brandon can attend the Oregon Institute of Technology.
I am sure some of you have been frustrated and impatient with me in the last few months. I have found that grief can come and go, it is different for everyone, and there is no timetable. This is as hard for me to accept possibly it is difficult for you to understand my topsy-turvy efforts.
This letter is to say I am still taking orders and deeply appreciate your loyal patronage, but the level of service you are accustomed to, may not be quite as high a you have come to expect. But we will make things right, if you are patient.
My assistant Renee, will continue to process orders and handle book keeping for me.
Thank you so much for following me and supporting me during this difficult time.
Picture courtesy of Freefoto.com.
Marilyn,
I’ve been a customer and reader of yours for a long time. I was so saddened to hear about the loss of your husband. My husbands father had just passed away in Sept. 2007, so we really understood your grief at that time. I have watched my poor mother-in-law these last couple of years as she has had to try to work through her grief and figure out how to get her feet under her as a widow. It has been very difficult especially when she lost her mother last summer. She loves the Lord and has the love and support of her Christian children and grand children. Anyway, I notice that you both are in a similar pattern in your grieving because of the close timing of your loss and I will continue to pray for you as I do her in continued healing. It will take time but I know the Lord will see you through.
Sincerely, your sister in Christ
My prayers are with you and you should take ALL the time that you need. My heart goes out to you and has over these last two years. I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult this time has been for you. I know that our Father has sustained you but still you need time. Blessing upon blessings to you!
Dear Marilyn,
My heart and prayers are with you during this time. The loss of your husband must be terribly difficult deal with, especially while trying to run a business and raise children. I am assured that the Lord with comfort your heart, direct and guide your future and pour out His love upon you in the coming days as you give yourself to Him.
God Bless you as the Lord makes the way before you perfect!
You’re worth waiting for, Marilyn.
Dear Marilyn,
I have enjoyed reading your columns, recipes, ordering, etc etc. I second all the other ladies’ comforting words. I look forward to your return whenever it is, and will remain a loyal follower. Blessings…
Wow Marilyn, stand by for some huge blessings because the Lord loves it when we bring our needs into the LIGHT. Your openness and honesty will bless many I’m sure.
It was great chatting last week!
Kelly
Praying for you during this time. I look forward to your return, in His timing as well.
Marilyn, Grief is such a topsy, turvy, out of control emotion. It hits at times you don’t expect and Praise the Lord, sometimes you anticipate things will really upset you and they don’t. Please lean on the Lord, pray for his comfort and strength. He will come through for you when you need it the most. You can’t run away from grief, it doesn’t go away. It has to be dealt with. You’ve made it 2 years and will never have to relive that first year of “firsts” again. It does get better, the Lord will soften the pain and one day you will realize that you have turned a corner and feel better. There is no timetable, everyone is different, every situation is unique. I went through this same thing in 1996 when my husband died suddenly. I will be praying for you during this time and I pray the Lord reveals himself to you in powerful ways. Congratulations on your first grandchild, how exciting and I know you are ready to hold that little miracle in your arms.
Marilyn
Thank you for your humility and transparency in sharing where you are at. I will pray for you and your family. You are wise to scale back and allow healing and the grief process to happen. We will continue to support this business and send others your way. God’s comfort and peace be with you.
Marilyn, I too echo the words of comfort and support of the other dear ladies. I have enjoyed your newsletters immensely. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. May the Lord wrap His loving arms around you and send His Spirit to comfort and guide you through this journey. I will be here when you return. Take as long as you need.
Just want you to know we are all understanding. Take the time you need, we will be here when you return. Everyone is different. It took me almost 3 years to grieve over my brother KIA in Iraq. I do not know why, only God knows the reason. But, know I understand.
I am so sorry for your loss. I know it must be very painful. Wishing you joy in your new grandbaby.
Dear Marilyn,
I think the Lord is leading you to a place of rest. You are wise to listen to his still, small voice and rest in his loving care. As you receive comfort from him, please know that many, many of your devoted friends (who also happen to be customers) are standing with you and beside you. You are enveloped in our human love as you are also enveloped in God’s love. We will remain loyal to you. We love you and we appreciate all that you have done for us over the many years of Urban Homemaker. Take your time to grieve and heal. And – all of us are looking forward to seeing a picture of that sweet grand baby very soon! God bless you always.
Marilyn, I’m sorry for your loss, I do recall when you lost your husband. I can’t imagine the pain in having to deal with loosing part of your unity. What blessing it must be to have your children for support as well as your longtime online customers and supporters. Praying that you would find comfort in the LORD and continue to rejoice in him
Someone else who is faced with difficulty quoted this scripture today. I pray that you will find comfort in it.
But I will sing of your strength. Yes, I will sing aloud of your lovingkindness in the morning. For you have been my high tower, A refuge in the day of my distress.To you, my strength, I will sing praises. For God is my high tower, the God of my mercy. Ps.59:16-17
May you be blessed as you follow the Holy Spirit’s leading. May you rest in Him.
blessings and shalom
Carmen
Marilyn,
My heart was touched by your story. Please watch this short video. It communicates my message to you, better than I can say. You are in my prayers.
Life WILL get better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nczw6xHJ0I
I will keep you in my prayers. Thank you for all that you do.
Dearest Marilyn, we have been customers for a long time also. It was in 1992, after getting my first issue of “Gentle Spirit” magazine, that I called to request my first catalog. The times that I called to place an order, it was always your dear husband, Duane, who would answer. He was always so helpful. Marilyn, I have been praying and promise that I will continue to pray for you and your family. I’m so sorry for all of the pain because of desperately missing the one that you love. We are here, and are holding you up in our thoughts and prayers. We will always be here for you. Thank you for all of the years of loving service you and Duane have given through the Urban Homemaker, articles you have written for other publications, and your very own newsletter that we received in the mail for a long time.
Until we see His face,
Your little sister in Christ,
Selina
Oh Marilyn! It’s been a while since I visited your blog. Last week I woke up with you on my mind. I felt that God was prompting me to pray for you.
Yes, grief has a mind all of it’s own, popping up when you least expect it.
Blessings of peace and comfort to you sweet friend!
Kathy
Marilyn, I am so glad that you are holding onto the company that you and your husband forged. Grief starts in pain, even at the good happy memories, but when processed over time, allows one to go back to the good memories and feel the warmth and love of their glow. Fully grieving, by putting on a sad movie, think on the pain, and getting a cry; by telling a close friend until it gets boring for you to talk about it, etc. helps bring back the peace and the joy. Grief has no timetable. You are so wise to stop and deal with it. Your company and yourself have blessed your customers.
Dear Marilyn,
I echo what the other ladies have said. . . and I am grateful that you are not leaving the business! I’ve been “out of the loop” for a few months, but I am praying for you and looking for your return! Take all the time you need.
Love,
Barbara
Dear Marilyn: I am a prospective customer. I just received the book “Training Our Daughters to be Keepers at Home” and your website was listed in this book. While looking at your website, I noticed your prayer request. My heart went out to you, as I could feel the pain and loneliness. Just remember, the Lord says,
“I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee, For I am the Lord thy God…(Is. 43:1-3); you are “precious in my sight…I have loved thee…Fear not: for I am with thee.” (Is. 43:4-5) Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strenth. They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. (Is. 40:28-29, 31) “Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. (Is. 43:19)
The Lord sees, He hears, He knows, He understands, and He will never leave thee nor forsake thee. Know that my family and I will be praying for you.
Marilyn,
I am new to your website and I love it. I too am touched by your loss and will be keeping you in my prayers. I love the verse’s listed above( Thank you Brenda) and marvel at how true they are. Grieving is such an important part of losing a loved one, and it is different for everyone, I applaud you for taking the time off that you need to deal with the loss and healing.
God Bless You and your Family!
Marilyn,
My family’s prayers are with you in this time of grief. I have not been on your website in years, until today, when I was looking for help on making sprouted wheat bread, and your site came up on google.
You may remember that I bought my Bosch and Kitchen Mill from you in Denver in 1991, shortly after our third child was born. He is now a freshman in college, and I am still using the same machines to bake bread weekly!!!!
Talk about a good value!
I cannot imagine what you are going through, but my prayers are with you.
Love,
Ruth and family